For he is, as it were, a second self.
Genuine
Yes. In On Friendship (44 BC), Chapter XXI, section 80 (Laelius de Amicitia 21.80), said by Gaius Laelius. These are the character’s words, not a statement in Cicero’s own voice.
Found word for word by program in the Latin original and in E. S. Shuckburgh’s English translation.
The wording people share comes from a later translation; Shuckburgh’s words are underlined below.
- Work
- On Friendship (Laelius de Amicitia), 44 BC
- Where
- Chapter XXI, section 80 (Laelius de Amicitia 21.80)
- Found at
- Paragraph 97 of the Latin text, 63 of the English
- Translation
- E. S. Shuckburgh
Researched by AI; checked by program against the full text on 31 October 2026. Editorial review: pending. How we check
On the page
[…] Generally speaking, there is but one way of securing and providing oneself against faults and inconveniences of this sort—not to be too hasty in bestowing our affection, and not to bestow it at all on unworthy objects.
[…] Sed plerique neque in rebus humanis quicquam bonum norunt, nisi quod fructuosum sit, et amicos tamquam pecudes eos potissimum diligunt ex quibus sperant se maximum fructum esse capturos.
[…] They fail also to learn from their own feelings the nature and the strength of friendship. For every one loves himself, not for any reward which such love may bring, but because he is dear to himself independently of anything else. But unless this feeling is transferred to another, what a real friend is will never be revealed; for he is, as it were, a second self.12 […]
[80] Ita pulcherrima illa et maxime naturali carent amicitia per se et propter se expetita nec ipsi sibi exemplo sunt, haec vis amicitiae et qualis et quanta sit. Ipse enim se quisque diligit, non ut aliquam a se ipse mercedem exigat caritatis suae, sed quod per se sibi quisque carus est. Quod nisi idem in amicitiam transferetur, verus amicus numquam reperietur; est enim is qui est tamquam alter idem.
22. But most people unreasonably, not to speak of modesty, want such a friend as they are unable to be themselves, and expect from their friends what they do not themselves give. […]
[81] Quod si hoc apparet in bestiis, volucribus, nantibus, agrestibus, cicuribus, feris, primum ut se ipsae diligant (id enim pariter cum omni animante nascitur), deinde ut requirant atque appetant ad quas se applicent eiusdem generis animantis, idque faciunt cum desiderio et cum quadam similitudine amoris humani, quanto id magis in homine fit natura! qui et se ipse diligit et alterum anquirit, cuius animum ita cum suo misceat ut efficiat paene unum ex duobus.
23. It is this that makes such carelessness in a matter of supreme importance all the more worthy of blame. […]
[82] Sed plerique perverse, ne dicam impudenter, habere talem amicum volunt, quales ipsi esse non possunt, quaeque ipsi non tribuunt amicis, haec ab iis desiderant. […]
The scene
Laelius contrasts people who value friends as profitable livestock with those who love a friend for the friend’s own sake. We care for ourselves without demanding a reward; the same disinterested concern must extend to someone else before there is true friendship. He then describes the human wish to find another person whose spirit can blend with one’s own, and warns against expecting a better friend than one is willing to be.
What it means
To treat a friend as another self is to care about that person’s good directly, not merely as a source of benefits to oneself.
Often misread
A ‘second self’ here is not a demand that a friend copy one’s opinions or surrender independence. The immediate contrast is with self-interested calculation and the expectation of rewards.
Topics
Related quotes
- You might just as well take the sun out of the sky as friendship from life.
- The older the sweeter, as in wines that keep well.
- Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike. J. K. Rowling
- You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand. Stephen Chbosky
- Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life. Stephen Chbosky
Sources
- thelatinlibrary.com/cicero/amic.shtml#80
- gutenberg.org/ebooks/2808 (E. S. Shuckburgh, On Friendship, chapter 21)
Cite it
Marcus Tullius Cicero, On Friendship (44 BC), Chapter XXI, section 80 (Laelius de Amicitia 21.80), translated by E. S. Shuckburgh. Spoken by Gaius Laelius. Checked at Quotogeny, https://quotogeny.com/q/a-friend-is-a-second-self/ (31 October 2026).
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Checked by people
People who checked this entry against its source, under their own names. Their checks do not change the verdict: an editor reviews every entry.
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