I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

No source in Monroe’s words has been found, and she is not known to have said or written it. Wikiquote lists it under Misattributed: ‘Attributed to Monroe in self-help books and on social media, this quotation is of unknown origin and date.’ Snopes (Bethania Palma, 20 September 2022) rated the attribution incorrect: it could not find the original source and found no evidence Monroe said it; a 2013 claim that it is a line from the film Niagara (1953) was checked against the screenplay and the film, and Monroe’s character, Rose Loomis, never says it. Dictionary.com and Know Your Meme describe it as an internet saying of the 2000s, spread on dating profiles and, between 2009 and 2011, on Tumblr images of Monroe, and later a snowclone (‘If you can’t handle me at my X, you don’t deserve me at my Y’); IBTimes (Maria Vultaggio, 1 June 2015) wrote that it ‘didn’t surface on the Internet until the last decade’ and that there is no record Monroe said it. The earliest dated appearance found here is Goodreads quote 8630 itself, captured by the Wayback Machine on 14 February 2008, already credited to Monroe but without its first sentence: ‘I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.’ Captures up to 3 March 2009 show that shorter form; by 16 August 2009 the page begins ‘I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure.’, the form that now circulates. The author of the words is unknown. Not searched: the texts of My Story (1974) and Fragments (2010), which are in copyright and not held here, and printed books before 2008 (Google Books could not be queried).

Shared as Marilyn Monroe’s own self-portrait, usually over a photograph of her, and in its short form (‘If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best’) on dating profiles and social media as a warning to would-be partners. On Goodreads it is the second most liked quote of all, with 166,054 likes on 21 October 2026, credited to Monroe and tagged there by readers as attributed-no-source and misattributed-marilyn-monroe. No interview, film, book or note of Monroe’s is cited for it anywhere.

Whoever wants me must accept my flaws as well as my virtues: a partner who leaves when I am difficult has no claim to me when I am at my best.

Read as the confession of a famous, troubled woman who knew her own worth, which lends a line from internet dating profiles her life story. On profiles it became a warning to would-be partners, which Reddit users on r/OkCupid and r/Tinder were mocking by 2012.

Not Monroe’s words as far as anyone has found. If you use it, say ‘often attributed to Marilyn Monroe; origin unknown’.

• ShortenedI make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. The older form: Goodreads quote 8630 read like this, credited to Marilyn Monroe, from the first Wayback Machine capture (14 February 2008) to at least 3 March 2009; by 16 August 2009 the opening ‘I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure.’ had been added. Where it was seen
• The form on posters and social mediaIf you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best. The short form of dating profiles and memes, from which the snowclone ‘If you can’t handle me at my X, you don’t deserve me at my Y’ grew. Where it was seen

Love

• Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me… just be my friend. (misattributed) Albert Camus
• You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. (not found) Dr. Seuss
• So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be. Stephen Chbosky
• That’s the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing.
• I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. (misattributed) Carl Gustav Jung

• en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe#Misattributed
• snopes.com/fact-check/marilyn-monroe-quote (Bethania Palma, 20 September 2022: Incorrect Attribution; Niagara screenplay and film checked)
• dictionary.com/e/memes/if-you-cant-handle-me-at-my-worst (3 August 2018)
• knowyourmeme.com/memes/if-you-cant-handle-me-at-my-worst
• ibtimes.com/marilyn-monroe-quotes-she-didnt-say-gets-credit-anyway-1947202 (Maria Vultaggio, 1 June 2015)
• web.archive.org/web/20080214214644/http://www.goodreads.com:80/quotes/show/8630 (earliest capture found, shorter form)
• web.archive.org/web/20090816182936/http://www.goodreads.com:80/quotes/show/8630 (first capture found with the ‘I’m selfish’ opening)
• goodreads.com/quotes/8630-i-m-selfish-impatient-and-a-little-insecure-i-make-mistakes (166,054 likes on 21 October 2026)

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” Attributed to Marilyn Monroe. No. It is not in Monroe’s works, and who first wrote it is not known. Quotogeny, https://quotogeny.com/q/if-you-cant-handle-me-at-my-worst/ (checked 21 October 2026).

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