If a man has reported to you, that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make any defence (answer) to what has been told you; but reply, The man did not know the rest of my faults, for he would not have mentioned these only.
Genuine
Yes. In Enchiridion (Handbook) (107), Section 33.9; George Long translation, chapter XXXIII, paragraph beginning “If a man has reported to you”.
Found word for word by program in the Greek original and in George Long’s English translation.
- Work
- Enchiridion (Handbook) (Ἐγχειρίδιον), 107
- Where
- Section 33.9; George Long translation, chapter XXXIII, paragraph beginning “If a man has reported to you”
- Found at
- Paragraph 102 of the Greek text, 75 of the English
- Translation
- George Long
Researched by AI; checked by program against the full text on 31 October 2026. Editorial review: pending. How we check
On the page
[…] Do not however be disagreeable to those who indulge in these pleasures, or reprove them; and do not often boast that you do not indulge in them yourself.
ἁπτομένῳ δὲ ὧν νόμιμόν ἐστι μεταληπτέον. μὴ μέντοι ἐπαχθὴς γίνου τοῖς χρωμένοις μηδὲ ἐλεγκτικός: μηδὲ πολλαχοῦ τὸ ὅτι αὐτὸς οὐ χρῇ, παράφερε.
If a man has reported to you, that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make any defence (answer) to what has been told you; but reply, The man did not know the rest of my faults, for he would not have mentioned these only.
ἐὰν τίς σοι ἀπαγγείλῃ ὅτι ὁ δεῖνά σε κακῶς λέγει, μὴ ἀπολογοῦ πρὸς τὰ λεχθέντα, ἀλλ’ ἀποκρίνου διότι «ἠγνόει γὰρ τὰ ἄλλα τὰ προσόντα μοι κακά, ἐπεὶ οὐκ ἂν ταῦτα μόνα ἔλεγεν».
It is not necessary to go to the theatres often: but if there is ever a proper occasion for going, do not show yourself as being a partisan of any man except yourself, that is, desire only that to be done which is done, and for him only to gain the prize who gains the prize; for in this way you will meet with no hindrance. […]
εἰς τὰ θέατρα τὸ πολὺ παριέναι οὐκ ἀναγκαῖον. εἰ δέ ποτε καιρὸς εἴη, μηδενὶ σπουδάζων φαίνου ἢ σεαυτῷ, τοῦτ’ ἔστι, θέλε γίνεσθαι μόνα τὰ γινόμενα καὶ νικᾶν μόνον τὸν νικῶντα. οὕτω γὰρ οὐκ ἐμποδισθήσῃ. βοῆς δὲ καὶ τοῦ ἐπιγελᾶν τινι ἢ ἐπὶ πολὺ συγκινεῖσθαι παντελῶς ἀπέχου. καὶ μετὰ τὸ ἀπαλλαγῆναι μὴ πολλὰ περὶ τῶν γεγενημένων διαλέγου, ὅσα μὴ φέρει πρὸς τὴν σὴν ἐπανόρθωσιν: ἐμφαίνεται γὰρ ἐκ τοῦ τοιούτου, ὅτι ἐθαύμασας τὴν θέαν.
Do not go to the hearing of certain persons’ recitations, nor visit them readily. But if you do attend, observe gravity and sedateness, and also avoid making yourself disagreeable.
εἰς ἀκροάσεις τινῶν μὴ εἰκῇ μηδὲ ῥᾳδίως πάριθι: παριὼν δὲ τὸ σεμνὸν καὶ τὸ εὐσταθὲς καὶ ἅμα ἀνεπαχθὲς φύλασσε.
The scene
Section 33 lays out a practical pattern of conduct: speech, laughter, company, oaths, food and sex, followed by responses to criticism and public entertainments. Here the teacher supplies a humorous answer for a student who hears that someone has been speaking ill of them. The reply is a model of self-deprecation, not a report that a particular critic actually knew only some of Epictetus’s faults.
What it means
Defuse backbiting without a defensive argument: admit your imperfections so readily that the critic seems underinformed. The joke loosens the hold of injured pride.
Often misread
The last sentence is a suggested reply for the reader, not a documented autobiographical confession by Epictetus. It does not mean every accusation is true or that serious false allegations must never be corrected.
Topics
Related quotes
- Let death and exile and every other thing which appears dreadful be daily before your eyes; but most of all death: and you will never think of anything mean nor will you desire anything extravagantly.
- For this is your duty, to act well the part that is given to you; but to select the part, belongs to another.
- Remember that it is not he who reviles you or strikes you, who insults you, but it is your opinion about these things as being insulting. When then a man irritates you, you must know that it is your own opinion which has irritated you.
- Never say about anything, I have lost it, but say I have restored it.
- You become what you give your attention to. (misattributed)
Sources
Cite it
Epictetus, Enchiridion (Handbook) (107), Section 33.9; George Long translation, chapter XXXIII, paragraph beginning “If a man has reported to you”, translated by George Long. Checked at Quotogeny, https://quotogeny.com/q/he-did-not-know-the-rest-of-my-faults/ (31 October 2026).
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