When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
Genuine
Yes. In The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson (1894), Chapter X, ‘The Nymph Revealed’, second epigraph from Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar, said by Pudd’nhead Wilson. These are the character’s words, not a statement in Twain’s own voice.
Found word for word by program in the full text.
- Work
- The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894
- Where
- Chapter X, ‘The Nymph Revealed’, second epigraph from Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar
- Found at
- Paragraph 372 of the text
Researched by AI; checked by program against the full text on 31 October 2026. Editorial review: pending. How we check
On the page
All say, “How hard it is that we have to die”—a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.—Pudd’nhead Wilson1’s Calendar.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.—Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar.
Every now and then, after Tom went to bed, he had sudden wakings out of his sleep, and his first thought was, “Oh, joy, it was all a dream!” […]
He woke at dawn with one more repetition of this horror, and then he resolved to meddle no more with that treacherous sleep. He began to think. Sufficiently bitter thinkings they were. […]
The scene
The second calendar maxim opening chapter X, not a remark exchanged in the scene. The narrative then returns to Tom, who has learned from Roxy that he was born enslaved and is struggling with what that means for his identity and his treatment of Chambers.
What it means
The joke starts with an instruction to restrain anger, then grants swearing as the response when restraint fails.
Often misread
This is comic advice in a fictional calendar, not a serious prescription for managing anger. It should be credited to Twain’s Pudd’nhead Wilson persona rather than represented as something a character says aloud in this scene.
Topics
Related quotes
- Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. (misattributed)
- Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden.
- cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde
- In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.
Cite it
Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson (1894), Chapter X, ‘The Nymph Revealed’, second epigraph from Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar. Spoken by Pudd’nhead Wilson. Checked at Quotogeny, https://quotogeny.com/q/when-angry-count-four/ (31 October 2026).
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Checked by people
People who checked this entry against its source, under their own names. Their checks do not change the verdict: an editor reviews every entry.
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